Death Ghoul
You Feast On: Power Bars
You Lurk Around In: Candy Factories
You Especially Like to Torment: Vegans
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Look out Cadbury world.... I'm stalking you
@ 2008-10-11 – 19:48:49
Death Ghoul -
Should we be surprised? An England football post
@ 2008-10-11 – 19:29:47
So England won a football match. A good results 5-0... but it was against Kazakhstan. Am I the only one that thinks that this shouldn't have been a surprising result? And to have not scored for the first half? Really? Should we be satisfied?
There are many teams that England should be better than....
....And results just in from the England match against the cast of Last of the Summer Wine. It was a tough start. Rooney tried hard to get past Foggy and Clegg, but was unable to produce a result. There was a tense moment when Nora Batty managed to drive through our defense, but luckily for us, the ball bounced oddly off the wrinkles off her tights. The England team started with 4-3-3 formation but changed to 4-4-2 at half time, whereas the cast of Last of the Summer Wine, started off with walking sticks but by half time had created a strange kind of vehicle out of a bath-tub and some wagon wheels.
England managed a 7-1 victory, and the defeat was evident on the faces of the Last of the Summer Wine cast, especially on Smiler's face! Emile Heskey still didn't scoreNext week the England team face an unexpected challenge as they play the Raggy Dolls- a win is expected, especially as Back-to-Front is well known for his own goals. Emile Heskey is not expecting to score.
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Frogs and Surgeons: Sing along if you know the words
@ 2008-10-11 – 11:02:57
I have been updating my Singstar catalogue. It is probably not a good idea to have so much money in my PSN wallet, as it is all too tempting to spend it.
Alongside some Queen tracks, I have also downloaded Weird Al's 'Like a Surgeon' and Paul McCartney's Frog Chorus. I wonder if he played it in his recent concert in Isreal? That would certainly bring peace!!!The Frog Chorus was one of the first four records I ever bought- The others were. Wham's 'Freedom', The Ghostbusters single and 'One night in Bangkok' not that I can remember who sung that.
Actually, Singstar is seriously missing some Wham!
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It's the Disney Tie in offers. Darryl Hannah's mum went for it!
@ 2008-10-10 – 20:33:56
I was just watching the adverts in Coronation street, and I saw one for a bed company, that has got a special deal on a bed to coincide with the DVD release of Disney's Sleeping Beauty! What a clever ploy!
And it got me thinking.... what other deals can be offered for future Disney DVD releases????.... To coincide with the release of Disney's 'Snow White' Iceland, have created a poisoned fruit selection. The store has been inundated with requests for Kerry Catona to sample one on an advert.
.... To coincide with the release of Disney's Little Mermaid, Vivien's Vivisectionist on the high street is having a 'make my kid a mermaid offer' where they will remove the top half of your child and sew it to the bottom half of a tiger shark. Not only will your child make a splash at parties, but they are almost guaranteed to win the 200m freestyle event at Summer Sports Day.
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A smile
@ 2008-10-10 – 19:26:45
My OH says that I smile more on a Friday afternoon/evening.
I wonder why
Got the wine open and already had an apple sour shot
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The best search engine ever....
@ 2008-10-08 – 20:44:59
... is not Google, but the one that Melinda uses in Ghost Whisperer. Penthius I think it's called. It's great. It doesn't matter how vague the information she puts into the search bar, she always gets the correct page with all the relevant information straight away.
Melinda: I don't know who the scary ghost is. All I know is that they died somewhere in the world. Hold on, I'll check the internet.
{Melinda types in 'Scary ghost died in world somewhere'}
Melinda: It says here that the dead person is an old sea captain called Big Joe who died when a stapler was inserted up his rectum. It also says he has thee surviving relatives that all have unfinished business.
I want that search engine. It's fantastic!
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Trebor morf nelots
@ 2008-10-08 – 19:16:28
Stoly stoly pinch pinch From Landers
Whats your name backwards?
JCName some lines from the song you are listening to?
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten, yeahGay or Straight?
Can I go for Graight?What goes on your toast?
My Mate MarmiteWhat's the seventh text message in your inbox say?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Like I'd get more than six texts hahahahahahahaHas someone groped you in the past
weekyear?
Er ... nopeLily Allen or Kate Nash?
Bleurgh to bothLast person to call you babe?
Some stupid old chav on a supermarket checkoutI say ‘Jump!’, you say?
'Bog off'Whats the top played song on your MP3 player?
er.... probably Scissor sister I don't feel like dancingWho did you last hold hands with?
OH probably.Who would you like to meet?
Someone with all the answersFunniest thing that happened today?
A Jedi mind trick joke I told (which no one got)
Are you insane?
That's a matter of opinionWhats on your bedside table?
Clock, lamp, and tie.How many piercings do you have?
None. yukWhats one of your favourite quotes?
Semper in excrementum, sole profundum qui variat.Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a S or N?
S yes (OH) N noIs this year the best year of your life?
Not even closeNinjas or Pirates?
Depends what for. Pirates for comedy value, but if I wanted someone bumped off or some furniture moved, I would go for ninjasWhere do you want to go right now?
ToiletWho do you want to go with?
No one. I'm not a girlDo you hate My Chemical Romance?
WhoWhat do you want from life?
To enjoy itWhen did you last do sex?
Do you mean to the nearest decade?What's your nickname and why?
The CeejAnything written on your hand?
Never. I see that on kids and it irritates meCould you run the Country?
I can't even run a bath. Actually I would like to run a schoolWhat are your favourite names?
Problem with being a teacher is you get put off names often. At the moment I am against Rosies and DanielsHave you ever punched a hole in the wall?
I would like to punch Dale Winton, who hosts Hole in the WallName a good song.
I'd like to name one VirgilWhere's your sister?
Living La Vida FrintonHave you got balls?
In descending order.... A football, a gold ball, a squash ball and testiclesHow would you react if someone kissed you right now?
If it was my OH I would smile. If it was anyone else, I would call the police, because they have broken into my homeWheres the weirdest place you’ve peed?
IN a street in Barcelona. They had no toilets!
Are you scared of Cows?
I am scared of most places on the Isle of WightAnything else to add?
I would like to add the first ten integers. 55! -
I can't believe it.... a cake story
@ 2008-10-06 – 21:13:29
I can't believe it. my OH just told me that we have to eat cake! We have to eat it or it will go off!
What am I going to do??? I am going to have to eat cake! Oh well, if it has to be done...... -
CJ's amazing animal of the day
@ 2008-10-05 – 08:58:43
I thought I would brighten up your Sunday by making this post a bit educational. So, in my very best Johnny Morris voice (and zookeeper uniform- which I must say looks very fetching and shows off my tight ass) I will reveal to you todays amazing animal.
IT is the Alligator Snapping Turtle
An alligator snapping turtle can take your finger off with one chomp
That's very clever. A chomp is a chocolate bar and traditionally they have very soft edges. To remove a finger with a chocolate bar takes all the skill of that bloke from the Saw movies.
but the cheat is in how it's able to lure its bait. The inside of the turtle's mouth is camouflaged, and on top of that their tongue features a worm-shaped appendage on its tip.
A Worm shaped appendage? How clever. If only a human had evolved to get a worm shaped appendage in their mouth...
Not only does this look like a fish's feast, but it actually mimics the movements of a worm as well.
Little worm movements. Very clever. They must have studied worms for ages to make sure the movements were right. But I suppose that is 'survival of the fittest' for you. If you don't wiggle that worm correctly... you become extinct!
Can you really blame the fish for falling for it?
Not at all. But fish are not generally known for their huge intellect. Unless it was Michael Fish.... I bet you wouldn't see Michael fish falling for a wiggly worm shaped appendage.
All the turtle has to do is lie down, open up and say "ahhh"
Actually, that works for me too
—once an unsuspecting fish moves in for a closer look, the tremendous speed and force of the turtle's mouth completes the ambush. It's an open-and-shut case
Open and shut case... I see what you did there. HAHAHAHA
And there you go. The amazing Alligator snapping turtle
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Two days of Freedom
@ 2008-10-03 – 20:00:01
It's Friday. It's the weekend. Two days of freedom! Woohoo.
Just had a curry, now we're gonna settle down and look forward to Little Britain USA
WE have also booked tickets for Spamalot for half term- so that is something to look forward too. My OH says I have been a bit down of late. -
It's my arse on the line... and I don't want a cock up!
@ 2008-09-30 – 19:10:31
One of my favourite lines from a comedy show. Can you guess what show?
Have I made it to the end of Tuesday? Woohoo! Only three days to the weekend.
Shame tomorrow will go on til about 8:30 again. I'm gonna miss the start of Heroes
Still I have responsibilities. As they say... It's my arse on the line, and I don't want a cock up! -
My Day off rocked
@ 2008-09-28 – 18:11:13
I have had a nice day today. I didn't do any work. I played a bit o Buzz this morning and (after a long download time) I managed to beat some geeks online- although I imagine they were saying that someone even geekier beat them! (Who?me?)
I then went to the piccies and saw Taken!
I then treated myself to something.... One of these.
And I have been rocking for the past hour. Although it took me ages to get it to work (Actually it took me ages to decide to read the manual to see how it should work) -
Finished most of it......
@ 2008-09-27 – 14:08:18
How long was that? About five hours (I started at 9)
Don't really want to leave any to tomorrow otherwise I feel like I haven't had any day off- and I want to go to the cinema -
Which day?
@ 2008-09-27 – 07:47:32
I am up early and I have a dilemma
I have about 5 hours worth of paperwork to get through, so my dilemma is... Shall I work today and have tomorrow as my day off?
Or shall I rest today and work through tomorrow?
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Beautiful, mysterious and smelly
@ 2008-09-23 – 19:57:38
What Your Socks Say About You
You Are:- Quite mysterious
- Known as beautiful
- Always polite
- Simply magnificent
